Domestic abuse (sometimes referred to as ‘domestic violence’ or ‘intimate partner violence’) can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time in a relationship.
Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Any type of threatening, controlling or coercive behaviour is abuse – whether it’s physical, psychological, sexual, financial, economic or emotional.
Domestic abuse can affect anyone, from any background and of any age. It occurs in a range of relationships, including with an intimate partner, a child, a sibling, an ex-partner, a casual partner or a family member. And it can happen at any point in a relationship, whether you live with the person or not.
There is no shame and no one should live in fear of someone else. You are not alone.
If you or anyone you know needs more information or support, please contact Scottish Women’s Aid.
Domestic Abuse can include, but is not limited to:
Domestic Abuse is recognised as a significant issue in Scotland. It is an issue that we must collectively overcome together; to ensure everyone who lives in Scotland feels safe, cared for and happy in the communities where they live. We all have a part to play in making Scotland a safe and happy place to live.
“Domestic Abuse will not be overcome by one grand gesture, it will take thousands of small gestures to create sustainable change”
Speaking out recalling Womens Aid in Scotland
Eggshells – Coersive control, gaslighting and domestic Violence
Domestic Abuse Awareness
Consent and Healthy Relationships
There are many organisations across Scotland who aim to support in eradicating domestic abuse from our society and provide a variety of supports. These are only a few! Click on each icon to visit each website:
To learn more about Domestic Abuse click on any of the areas below:
Domestic abuse isn’t always visible and it doesn’t always leave a physical mark. Coercive and controlling behaviour (sometimes known as CCB) may be the only type of abuse that someone experiences. It often happens as part of a pattern of abuse and the impact is serious, with long-lasting effects on the victim.
Physical abuse: where someone hurts you by hitting, pushing or using physical force.
Sexual Abuse: where someone forces or pressures you into doing sexual things you don’t want to or forces you to watch pornography.
Economic abuse: if someone controls and undermines your economic resources, such as housing, clothing, transport, documents, employment, or money.
Financial Abuse – A form of economic abuse where someone controls your money, takes your wages or benefits, blocks your bank account, forces you into debt or refuses to give you access to household finances.
Emotional or Psychological Abuse – If someone puts you down, scares you, or messes with your head, “feeling like you are walking on eggshells.”
There is no current definition of “honour”-based abuse in Scotland. “Honour”-based abuse is included in the broader definition of violence against women and girls and encompasses dowry related violence, female genital mutilation, forced and child marriages and “honour” crime. We use the term “honour”-based abuse rather than violence as we recognise it encompasses a range of behaviours not limited to physical violence. It is important to understand that there can be no honour in abuse, the concept of “honour” is used to control the victim to comply with expectations of what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Honour, can mean different things to different families, and in different contexts, but “honour”-based abuse should be understood as any action and/or behaviour by the victim that is perceived as bringing shame to the family or community.
Forced Marriage – is a form of “honour”-based abuse and may be seen by a family as a route to restore “honour”. Forced marriage involves one or both spouses being forced to marry without their consent.
Forced marriage is very different from an arranged marriage, where the marriage is arranged by one or both families, but both parties are free to accept the arrangements or not, providing full consent.
Stalking is where someone constantly follows, messages, or watches you in a way that feels scary.
Harassment is where someone keeps bothering or intimidating you, perhaps using social media, phone or text messages, even after you have asked them not to.
11% of adults in Scotland Have Experienced stalking and harassment behaviours. If you are one of them, don’t be afraid to reach out. Action Against Stalking provide the support you might need. The National Stalking helpline found on the Suzy Lamplugh Trust can help you to identify if you are being stalked by using their stalking toolkit as well as provide advice and help.
Technology abuse – If somebody uses technology to harass, control, monitor, intimidate or threaten you.
You can learn more about Online and digital abuse as well as how to keep yourself safe online.
We know that seeking support in a small island community can feel difficult. Some people worry about being recognised, being seen accessing support, or others finding out about their experiences. Please be assured that:
Orkney is very lucky to have amazing support services. If you need support please contact:
If you would like to seek national support you can contact any of services discussed on this page. They are there to help.
If you would like to learn more Safer Orkney is a partnership website which provides lots of helpful information and brings supports together in one place. This website will also keep you up to date about the activity of the Orkney Partnership Against Gender Based Violence and Violence Against Women and Girls.
No, support services treat your information confidentially and will not normally share it without your permission. There are a small number of situations where staff may need to share information to protect a child, a vulnerable adult, or someone at immediate risk of serious harm. If this situation arises, staff will explain this to you wherever possible.
Support workers are there to listen, support, and help you explore your options. You do not need proof of what happened in order to access support.
There is no need to make a report to the Police if you access support. If you decide to make a complaint to the Police your support service may be able to provide you with support to do this. You are in control of the decisions you make throughout all support you receive.
That’s okay. Support services are there to provide information, emotional support, and practical assistance. You are not required to make a report, leave a relationship, or take legal action in order to receive support.
Yes, some services such as Women’s Aid offer an anonymous messaging service. These services are free, confidential and secure. Access times to services will vary depending on what is on offer from support services but are staffed by trained professionals to support and respond to messages.
Wherever you go for support the service will explain how your information is handled and discuss any concerns you might have regarding confidentiality.
In small communities, it is understandable to feel concerned if you know someone working within a service. If you are worried about this, please discuss it with the organisation. Many services can explore alternative arrangements, such as allocating a different worker, arranging support from another area, or helping you access a different service if appropriate.
Many people worry about others finding out they have contacted a support service, particularly in smaller communities. Services understand these concerns and take confidentiality very seriously. If you have worries about being recognised, attending appointments, receiving phone calls, or being contacted at home, please discuss this with your support worker. Together, you can agree the safest and most comfortable way for the service to communicate with you.
No. You can access support whether you have left, are planning to leave, or remain in the relationship. Support services will respect your decisions and help you explore your options safely.
You can seek support regardless of when the abuse happened. Some people reach out days after an incident, while others seek support years later. Support is available whenever you feel ready.
Yes. Friends, family members, carers, and professionals can contact services for advice on how best to support someone affected by abuse.
Support services offer a range of support options. You are not required to access counselling. Staff can discuss what support might be helpful and work with you to identify what feels right for you.
Support services can provide support for parents and may also be able to offer support for children and young people affected by domestic abuse or sexual violence. Staff can discuss available options with you.
Yes. Support is available to anyone affected by domestic abuse, sexual violence, stalking, harassment, or other forms of abuse. Services can help you access appropriate support.
Services aim to be accessible and inclusive. If you have mobility needs, sensory impairments, learning disabilities, neurodivergence, or any other support requirements, please let the service know so that reasonable adjustments can be considered.
During normal office hours Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm Contact Orkney Health and Care Children and Families Services on 01856 873535 extension 3342 or if the person is an adult call 01856 873535 and ask for Adult Social Work
This will take you to The Balfour Hospital switchboard then you ask for the Emergency Social Worker.
